What do the weekends mean?

After this long week draws to an end, I’ve been forced to look at what the weekend symbolizes to me. To me, it’s seen as a solace from not doing what I love. It’s seen as a vacation where I can breath. It’s a point in time that I wait til every week. The weekend is essentially an escape from an unsatisfying daily life. I think this is the same for many people.

When we aren’t doing something we love, we plan something out in the future. We wish to one day live with money and without work, so we create retirements. People will suffer part of their life away just to add extra to their retirement. They work themselves to the bone for something in the future. There is nothing inherently wrong with this but if you don’t start living now, you’ll have never lived at all.

The same thing seems to be happening with me in my regular life. I know that I should be leading some sort of artist life. I need to be dealing with artists and with the creative process on a daily basis – more than just a hobby could supply. This leads me to craving the weekends. More simply put, anticipating the weekend is just anticipating escaping the difficulties of leading a life which isn’t at the forefront of my mind.

I spend Monday sad about the weekend and time that just passed me. Then Tuesday I’m already waiting for the weekend. Do you put off changing your life? Are you anticipating your “weekend” instead of actually living your life? In the comments below, let me know what you think!



Why is it that the weekends fly by so quickly? Why is it that when you have a good conversation with someone, hours disappear between you two?

There is a book I’ve been wanting to read for the past few weeks called “Flow”. It talks about how we have this state where we lose our-self and become whatever we are doing. We are so absorbed in the action that we forget our part in it. The book relates this to happiness and claims that a state of “flow” is necessary to be happy.

So far, I think I’ll have to agree. Having nights like tonight, where time runs short, helps build a contentment that fills the background of my life. It’s like a static that’s around me and underlies my daily life. It’s something I look for in everything I do.

Some people bring me to “flow” and art is what really draws me into this state. Writing, editing, and doing what I love with people that I love is the purpose of my life.


Kissing a Questioning Guy

Over this past weekend I kissed a guy who was questioning his sexuality. He is the first guy I’ve ever met who is questioning – and obviously the first one I’ve kissed. This has had its fun and pitfalls, and I’m here to share them with you.

Exploring with a questioner can be exciting – you get to help them dig into their sexuality. There haven’t been a lot of experiences to wear in how everything should work and this can make things feel more fresh. It’s also a chance to look at your own sexuality and focus on what you like as well.

Sexuality is not a rigid wall that cannot be penetrated or surpassed; it is something that can be explored endlessly. You may like this or find yourself wanting that instead – and all of that is fine. You may like some guys and only a few girls. You may like kissing girls but only like getting rough with men. Each person is different and it can be pleasurable just to explore through it.

By being with a person who is questioning, it can cause you to look at yourself and the rigidity you’ve placed on your own sexuality. Are you becoming too worn into the how you date or how you kiss? Maybe this opens your eyes to that rigidity. Trying new things can help bring life back into your sexuality.

There are also a lot of pitfalls in messing around with someone who doesn’t know their sexuality. The other person may not even end up liking you or your gender. You could get really into someone and not get that returned. People who don’t know their sexuality can be emotional about it because they are trying to figure it all out.

When someone is questioning, they are questioning! This, by definition, means that they don’t know exactly what they are into. When you get with them, there is a huge possibility that you’ll be the person that shows them what they aren’t into.

The difficulty with this is that we become emotionally involved and when someone figures out that they don’t like our gender, we take it personally. “Maybe I didn’t represent men well enough” or “Maybe I’m really bad at kissing”. We take it as them rejecting us as humans but it’s more of them figuring it out for themselves.

Think of it like you’re wandering through the produce section of a grocery and you see some exotic fruits. On the outside they may be odd looking, great looking, different, but more importantly they may be intriguing. Just because you are intrigued by that fruit doesn’t mean that you’re going to like it. Other people may like it, but it’s different for each person. If you kiss a questioning person and they don’t like it, it could be just that they don’t like that kind of fruit!

When we try a new food we go into unsure of how we’re going to react. We look at it and maybe get an aroma from it but we’re ultimately unsure of whether we’ll spit it out or get another serving. After experimenting, a questioning person reacts very similar to that. They may make a sour face or smile from the taste of it.

Since we don’t know how they’re going to react we have to make sure we understand that it’s not us. Their reaction isn’t to us, it’s the overall response. They walked in unsure how they were going to respond and you have to accept whatever their response is.

Emotionally this can be very difficult because not all people are blessed/cursed with knowing what they’re into. Some people will react horribly with a huge dramatic response, while other may just shrug it off. Make sure to be supportive of whatever they think. Remember they are exploring, and you are just supporting them in it.

Don’t get me wrong, it can be a lot of fun experiment but it can also be emotionally exhausting. We invest ourselves into everything we do and we aren’t able to control the response. You could potentially have a lot of fun or you could take things personally if things go south (ha).

Remember that your sexuality isn’t rigid either – the exploration can be on both sides. This weekend I got to explore my sexuality and mess around with a really cool guy. I had a lot of fun getting to know him but it brought up questions about my own sexuality and how I define myself.

This weekend and blog post is a testament to taking things personally. We both explored ourselves and I was into him but he wasn’t into me. I took things personally at first but I’ve thought about it more today. Sexuality isn’t rigid and no one else can control it. Have fun exploring yourself and other people. Just keep in mind that it’s only exploration and it doesn’t have to be anything more than that.

Hope you all had a great weekend! Sorry for such short posts this past week and then a really long one! Ha, I wish I had more exciting things to talk about lately! I’ve just been really busy! Moving to Charleston next month! I’ll write you soon!


P.S. Only 300 more days to go!