What do we want?

Sommersault” by Zero 7

Sometimes in life we run across things which bring great meaning into our life. We meet people who make us more more and want to be more. Maslow would write that they help a person actualize, or become the best possible version of who they could be.

This song, which I ran across last week, brings that idea to mind and reminds me of what I’m looking for. I want drive, I want passion, I want enthusiasm. I want someone who makes me desire to be more than I am.

Then again, what we seek most outside of ourselves is usually what we should be seeking most internally. If I want that drive, maybe I have to find it within myself – not depend on another person to supply it.

But what is the value of another person other than to supply these traits? Why do we go into relationships? What do we seek out of people other than physical intimacy?



Let go of the outcomes

Perhaps the most important lessons in life are to be in the present moment and to detach from the outcomes of your life. We spend so much time struggling with the flow of life that we don’t realize that usually what we struggle against is just ourselves.

We spend so much time dissolved in thought that we distract ourselves from living our lives. Without paying attention to our lives, we get swept away and lost in possibilities. We could have had that happen if we had done this, or we could become that if we did this. The truth of the matter is, usually the outcome doesn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter if we get the white picket fence, what matters is the journey to the picket fence. The family we build and our relationships with them. If we have a dysfunctional house, does it matter if we have a nice appearance to everyone else?

If our dream is to become rich, we may become so preoccupied with the outcome of being rich that we miss the things we want to be rich for. We may want money to go out and have fun with friends but, in the effort of getting money, we lose all of our time. We trade one thing for another.

That’s why we need to detach from the outcomes and let go of them. We can want the white picket fence without needing to have the white picket fence. We can want to be rich and find a balance between working and having free time.

Being present is just as important. What good is an adventurous life if you’re always dreaming up your next exploration? Position your sails to go in the direction you want but don’t spend all day staring out at sea to see if you’re going in the right direction. Be here and now and experience life.