“Be as you wish to seem”
Each of wants the world to see us in a certain way. We want others to see us as adventurous or fun but we fail to see the bigger picture. If you want to be seen in a certain way, you must become that way. The traits we wish for others to see are often characteristics that we wish we had within ourselves.
Think of psychological traits that you want in a mate. Do you want someone who is explorative, shy, loud, creative, unique, common or anything else? Chances are, whatever traits that you wish to find in others are traits that you wish to find in yourself. The difficulty is that you choose to seek it from other people rather than simply becoming it.
If you want a woman who is artistic, perhaps it’s a craving for you to become creative. Socrates said it simply; “be as you wish to seem”. To seem adventurous, you must go out into the world and be adventurous. No other person can make these traits appear in you, you have to find them in yourself.
Instead of waiting and finding someone who fulfills what you want to become, choose to find yourself. What do you want to become? How do you want to be seen? That is what you need to do with your life; become the person you want to seem like.
It is the movers that change the world, those who take action. The man who wanders the world in search of himself is one step closer to finding what he’s looking for. Not because he searches the world but because he seeks. It is the him who takes action that will shape the world.
Lose your inhibitions and openly seek. Inside, outside, and anywhere you can think. The world is only as grand as you make it and, darling, there’s only so much time. If you don’t act now, when will you? Go out and meet the world. Feel grass on your feet and sun on your skin. Be alive with the Earth and seek, darling, seek.
You know the feeling when you kiss someone for the first time? When their lips feel foreign and their skin feels light because you’re afraid to press hard against it. Everything feels so new and unusual. You don’t know what the other person is thinking and you know that you’re thinking a lot. At this time you’re really in tune with the other person and you’re receptive to whatever they do.
There’s a certain delight in that strangeness and how foreign everything feels. Someone’s lips are weird but they’re not weird at the same time. Their skin has a particular feeling and you like that tang.
The other I was thinking about all of this and it hit me. Why does it feel so unusual? We should be used to feeling of our own skin. Every time we touch something or brush our hands against ourselves we feel ourselves. So why is there a delight in feeling someone else’s skin?
I think it’s because when we’re with someone we have that receptivity. We’re completely present and ready to feel whatever is going on. We pay attention to all of our feeling and all of our emotions. The joy that we get may not be just because we’re with another person but because we’re totally here. We’re fully alive in those moments.
Most of our life we don’t pay attention to the normal sensations of living. The feeling of gravity or our feet as they step on the ground. We only notice our back when it hurts us but we don’t pay attention to it otherwise.
We seek solace in other people because we crave the feeling of being alive. We crave the sensation of what skin feels like even though we’re already wearing a full suit. We don’t notice what our lips feel like when we’re eating or breathing.
What we should be doing is finding that presence within ourselves and sharing that with somebody else. Find where you feel most alive and bring that our in somebody else. Not only when you are intimate but when you’re just walking around. Remember the physical sensations of life like walking into the hot sun or the feeling of grass. Truly feel it and breath it all in! That is the way to happiness, not through somebody else.