Another update for today’s post!
Yesterday I completed my goal of running every weekday. I woke up at 4:30AM everyday and ran 2.5 miles with the exception of Monday, where I ran 3.5 instead. The goal was interesting because it required that I get up 15 minutes before my alarm. I thought that this would make me more exhausted throughout the day. Instead I found that I had the same level of energy for the day.
Exercising in the morning also pushed the importance of getting to bed early. I managed to get to sleep about an hour earlier each night. I didn’t feel more rested but I felt more satisfied knowing that I was exercising daily. This isn’t to say that I sprung out of bed with an enthusiastic smile on my face every morning. I found that I got out of my bed on my first alarm. Usually I roll over through 4-5 alarms.
My diet became more regulated early in the week. As Wednesday rolled around I consumed less protein and found myself eating worse than I was before I started running. I can’t remember the last time I ate so badly. I attribute it to my lack of protein consumption but it could have been a variety of other things. As I exercise more often I require a higher caloric intake and as a vegetarian most of my diet is low calories. Eating more carrots didn’t satisfy me, so I found myself reaching for chocolate instead.
Overall it was a good experience. I’m proud of myself for getting up early and completing this goal on the first attempt. It was gratifying to say that I had run a little under 14 miles before 5:00AM this week. All together that isn’t very much distance but it fit into my schedule and I made it work. More than the 0 miles from the week before.
Will I run everyday next week? Probably not, but I will be running more often in the morning. I’ll aim for 3 days a week and see how that feels. It’s going to be insane sleeping in til 5:00AM this week! I never thought I would say that!
This is a continuation of posts written back at myself. They’re not intended to entertain but rather to speak to myself. If you find the content relative to your life and what you’re going through, great. The point of these posts is to express this out of my system.
There will be points in your life where you could walk on 15 different roads. None of them lead to the same place. None of them are better than their alternatives. Yet we always look for the best option. I find myself guilty of stopping at every forklift to contemplate where each direction will take me.
These forklifts almost tear me in half with where they potentially could lead. I’ll sit for days on the most rudimentary decision. Or wait another ten minutes to reply with the perfect response. The silly thing is that this added wait time doesn’t contribute to a better result. More often than not, it’s just a waste of time.
Tim Ferriss has a podcast where he talked a bit about this. Procrastinating what you truly need to do is a waste of time. The advice he transcribed says that we should write a list of our greatest anxieties. Those are the things which we need to carry out the most. These rudimentary decisions I need to make are all about avoidance.
I’ve avoided stupid things like calling the cable company to set up internet (because I hate phone calls), taking photos (because I’d have to buy Adobe CC again), and getting a new car (because there’s so much hassle in buying something). Believe me, the list goes on way beyond this.
Many days I’ll just go for walks to kill time. The truth is, I don’t really have time to kill. There are so many things that I need to take care of that going for a walk is just avoiding what I really need to do.
Sylvia Plath once wrote a poem about a fig tree. She saw all these potentials growing out in front of her but she couldn’t just choose one. If she chose one, that meant she wasn’t choosing the rest. Instead of picking one and enjoying it, she sat at the base of the tree and all the figs fell dead at her feet.
I have no idea how to say this to you but you need to make decisions. The things that are important to you are disappearing and it’s because of your simple fears like making phone calls that you’re not achieving what you want to. Everybody struggles with procrastination but I fear I am a master of it.
If I delay too long I will run out of time!
Well, I’ve run tonight’s post a little into the wall. I have to get to bed quickly so I can get up early for my flight out to Charleston. Early flights are the worst! So yesterday’s post concluded most of my thoughts about visiting home and leaving so tonight I’ll be brief.
I’m glad I decided to come home for a week before I moved off to Charleston. It has given me the opportunity to see the life that I lead and shown me how I want to orient myself in the future. It’s given me something to compare my experiences with and a way to keep some of my friends before becoming too distant from them. Although my visit was short, I feel like I’ve gained a lot of insight into my life.
Cheers to traveling to new places!
Here’s a video I ran across on my Facebook NewFeed that is in need of some attention!
Packing clothes away and getting ready for the next big move out to Charleston has been difficult. The closer my leave gets to finishing, the more nostalgia sets in. So much of my life has changed and coming home has shown me how I had built my life up to this point.
Online I’ve maintained presence with the photography community, and I still obviously work on my blog. Photography has been so much to me; it’s been a way of expression, a way of building community, a skill to grow.
I’ve been able to see the things that I’ve worked on from a more detached perspective. Walking back into my room and seeing inspiring quotes on post-it-notes brought a smile to my face. It really felt like home. It’s like I could suddenly connect who I was with who I am now.
Over my break I’ve also had the opportunity to get together with many of my friends and family that I’ve been missing. Just seeing their faces has brightened mine. But at the same time I feel anxious about all of them. Where is my life heading? Where are their lives heading?
And after stepping out for nine months I’ve gained an appreciation for things that I hadn’t before. I understand that goodbye now will be a much longer goodbye in some cases. My cat has grown old, my dog, and some of my family. There’s a lot of uncertainty and unknown in front of me but I face it with the certainty that I will experience more. And with no regret of the past, I’ve lived as fully as possible, and I have no tension over the past.
So as I get anxiety over the next week, the next month, the next year, perhaps I will be able to look back at this instant in my life and remember that everything works out. Life will always carry on – and the moment we stop facing it is the moment that we stop living.
Be valiant, and enjoy the life in front of you. You don’t know when your last moments will be. So die now to what is in behind and beyond you – live your life right now.
P.S. Woah. Day 100 is going to be my first day in Charleston! That’s crazy on time!