note#14. moving on

Life is about moving on and letting go. It’s about experience but only as it happens. After the moment is over, we need to move on. When we feel emotions, we really need to feel them. But after they’re gone, we need to let them go. Don’t hold onto anger, frustration, and don’t claw after happiness.

When relationships aren’t working and friendships are falling apart, let them go. If it’s meant to be, it will come back. You can’t hold everything together. You can’t stop a ship from sinking, you can only plug the holes until another one appears.

You have to be willing to sacrifice everything that you know to live in this moment. When you feel directly through your senses and before you think about what you’re seeing or what it means. You must depart from moments as they leave so you can make room for the next moment. Holding onto every second is too painful.

Now I’m working on letting go of what isn’t working. I can’t make a failing relationship bud or fix a friendship that isn’t meant to be. I must depart from it and let it go in its own way. Life is about moving on to open room to experience. I can’t grow if I always look back, I must realize what it in front of me now.

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To live is to suffer

It’s odd how when we suffer, we can gain a lot of insight into our lives. It’s not until everything goes wrong that we see what was going right before. When our car finally breaks down, we notice how well it was running before. We hate our job but we find that we don’t have any other job we like better.

To suffer is a condition of life. We must constantly tear down and rebuild everything around us. If we don’t tear it down, the walls will crumble anyways. The impermanence of everything assures that. By accepting life as a struggle it ceases to be one.

I wrote last night about a lot of the struggles I was going through. My car broke down, my jaw kept me up all night, and a lot more things were at the forefront of my mind. However, I was unconditionally accepting of it all and let it pass by. I accepted the suffering as part of life’s way of challenging me as a person.

When we stagnate, we become ignorant. When we stop all struggling and suffering, we neglect change. We become ignorant of the things around us. By suffering, we embed compassion and understanding in everyone.

This does not mean that to suffer is good. Rather, suffering is part of life and as much as we wish for only growth, we also have to take a few steps back sometimes. To suffer and to mentally reject it, we fall into another self-defeating track. We must realize that although we will suffer through our lives, we will also have great joys and great losses.

To have is also to lose. To have loved is also to have lost. In great happiness, there is also great sadness. As Osho describes, it is like a great tree; happiness grows towards the sky and branches out, while the sadness buries itself into the ground to form roots. The greater the happiness, the greater the sadness. In everything is its opposite.

Once we realize that life will inexplicably move on, we can accept life as it is and the suffering is not as bad. We can help others who suffer and enjoy life in a different way.

Remember, when you’re going through a tough time, it may become worse but it will definitely become better. Life challenges you and sometimes you will feel like you’re peddling backwards, you’ll feel like everything is wrong, but I assure you, your life is moving forwards. When you struggle, you learn how not to struggle, then you struggle with something else (ad infinitum). See the process as part of life and you will relieve a lot of stress.

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Don’t let life get you down

Sometimes stress can be overbearing. For the past two weeks I’ve been stressing over a test I had to take today. It has consumed my mind constantly and I’ve been waiting to get it over with. After taking the test and passing my car broke down while I was driving a friend home. So I had to get it towed and find an auto-shop down here in Charleston. Then I had to call friends and see who would drive through the insane traffic to get us. After I got home my wisdom teeth started hurting – something I should have taken care of a few weeks ago. Unfortunately I don’t have a car or any friends with Advil. Tomorrow I’m going to have to walk to work and leave 30 minutes early.

However, none of this is getting me down. This is part of life, and as Osho teaches, we should accept life as it comes to us. Yes, everything is unfortunate. However, I’m happy that there are so many gracious people around me to help when it gets difficult. I’m grateful for everything right now. Sometimes life is difficult and stress is overbearing – but when we struggle against what’s happening, we suffer.

I do this by accepting what’s happening and removing the extra or the interpretations. “My car broke down today” instead of “my stupid car broke” or “this would happen to me“. I could label things as good and bad but instead I choose just to feel it without the label. Inside that feeling I don’t feel good or bad, it just is what happened.

Sometimes stress is overbearing and we’re blindsided by the things that life throws at us. Sometimes it’s okay and sometimes we breakdown. It’s important to let life just flow. It happened and I’ve moved on. I’m here now. That’s all the world has to offer us, deal with the situation at hand and let go of it.

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