With a roar of Laughter, forget your worries

This was the day that my car died.
The death of the Buick.

Much of our ability to continue on is dependent on our capacity to let go. You can’t carry every lost friend, every heartbreak, every failure, on your shoulders. There’s mountains of pain that you will find in life and your body simply isn’t strong enough to hold it. If you can find it within yourself to forgive the shortfallings of yourself and others, you’ll see that everything is much lighter. Even walking is easier when your stop looking backwards.

After a while, you’ll realize that, like Osho said, life is full of laughter. It is a joke. How funny is it that you had to suffer to learn that! Your car breaking down during rush hour! How funny, how inconvenient! Your toilet breaking after you ate really bad food: very funny too!

In those moments, there was a lot of suffering. How will I continue? My car is broke, my life is over. Meanwhile life is laughing. It is not so serious! Of course you will continue.

Maybe you are experiencing heartbreak now. The person you like has moved on to someone new. Life is still laughing. It is not as serious as you think. Haha! You will grow from this and you will learn. It is funny that this happened.

You cannot see the humor while you carry the burden. Laughing is light, not serious. Lose the context and look at the situation as it is. If you look at the past, you will feel guilty: you should have known better. Looking at the future, you get nervous because you’re afraid what happened will happen again. The situation itself? No problem. It is funny! How silly it is that you feel so unhappy when there isn’t anything to worry about!

Maybe all of this comes across as jumbled. It does not make sense how pain can be funny. Look back at things you suffered from: being scared of the dark as a child; silly. Cursing out your boss as a quick way out of employment? Funny, worth it maybe. Lover abandoning you for a politician? How horrible, how ridiculous!

Our ability to keep moving forward is dependent on setting that pain down. Yes, it is difficult to see how things really are. Unemployment is scary and to others being single is terrifying – but if we don’t let that go, we bring it everywhere. Sadness and suffering aren’t meant to be spread. Laugh at the burdens, learn from them, and bring that humor to others. We all carry suffering from time to time. Find it within yourself to let go of that which is weighing you down.

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Carrying the Past

In the digital age, do we really let go of the past? We can look back at text messages from old relationships and read statuses on how we were doing at any given time. We can keep in contact with people from our high school years and retain contacts indefinitely. People who we would have forgotten still stay on our NewFeed and ‘like’ our posts.

Is this for the best? By retaining contacts, are we carrying too much of the past? Generations before us were forced to move on. If your best friend moved away, you’d lose contact. Then you’d have to meet new people and make more friends. I wonder if social media makes us more social or less social.

When I have kids, will they be able to look back at my entire lifetime through the internet? Could they see what music I listen to on last.fm or see this blog? Would they see the posts I made at 4am and the useless debates I’ve had on YouTube?

My parents had to keep physical photographs if they wanted to look back. How about now when we can take thousands of pictures and share them online, what will happen to the memory when we can see images from every event?

We carry the past with us. Our interactions are changing and we’re not letting go. People, memories, our history, is all being kept alive. It’s a book that you can open and read. It’s a place that you can go. You’ve checked into this bar on Google+ before, how many times will you come here in your lifetime? What are we becoming because of social media?

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Change

It’s funny how we’re afraid of change. The most inevitable condition is change and we cannot escape it. Our lives will move in directions we cannot control and we will be forced to deal with the results. People move, friends leave, time passes, everything is eventually lost. However, it’s only through change that we experience new things. We need change to really experience life.

We need to marry the thought of change and growth in our minds because you cannot grow without changing. This means changing who you are, letting other people change, and going forward into the next part of your life. We have to grow, and therefore we have to change.

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28/31 blogtober

note#14. moving on

Life is about moving on and letting go. It’s about experience but only as it happens. After the moment is over, we need to move on. When we feel emotions, we really need to feel them. But after they’re gone, we need to let them go. Don’t hold onto anger, frustration, and don’t claw after happiness.

When relationships aren’t working and friendships are falling apart, let them go. If it’s meant to be, it will come back. You can’t hold everything together. You can’t stop a ship from sinking, you can only plug the holes until another one appears.

You have to be willing to sacrifice everything that you know to live in this moment. When you feel directly through your senses and before you think about what you’re seeing or what it means. You must depart from moments as they leave so you can make room for the next moment. Holding onto every second is too painful.

Now I’m working on letting go of what isn’t working. I can’t make a failing relationship bud or fix a friendship that isn’t meant to be. I must depart from it and let it go in its own way. Life is about moving on to open room to experience. I can’t grow if I always look back, I must realize what it in front of me now.

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Circumstantial Friendship

There is no reason for beginning a friendship, no underlying cause or logical explanation to why we are close to certain people. We don’t choose our friends. Circumstance breeds connection, it doesn’t matter who the person is, or who you think you are, if the situation is correct, you’re bound to be friends. Think of a close friend and how you originally met. Nothing was planned, the lines just clicked.

Eventually those same lines wear and the gears turn again. Circumstance builds friendship as well as tears it down. When a moment comes to an end, those you are close to change. People change, environments change, and attitudes change. Friendship is a combination of time and circumstance. You fall into it and you fall out of it.

Undoubtably the people you are close with now will be different than those you are close to in five years. Cherish friendships while they are close, and, when they draw to an end, let them go knowing that your time was well spent.

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The Waiting Game

You can’t wait forever. Eventually time runs out and the last grain falls in the hourglass. You have your whole life ahead of you and yet you dabble in your mind. How useless and what a waste of beautiful potential. Waiting will be your end, your failure you will look back on.

Move, act, be free. Liberate yourself from this burden and let it leave your head. Push it out of your mind and allow to fly away. Keeping an animal in a cage only makes it desperate and angry. Open the door and let whatever you’re waiting for go. Life will continue and this will soon pass.

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Holding it in

It’s taken many years and countless purposeless arguments to realize how important forgiveness is. We hold onto so much in this world and our emotions are no exception. I’m guilty of clinging to emotions: I’ve held onto my own sadness for weeks and I’ve went to bed angry.

When we hold onto our emotions, we bring them everywhere with us. If you hold onto anger, you’ll lash out or bring that negativity to everyone around you. For example, if you just lost your business a lot of money, you may be angry/upset. Then when you go out to eat with your family, you may almost sweat your emotion.

When we sweat, we don’t always notice it. The smell can become apparent to others and you could taint an entire room. It’s obvious to us when we’re sweating a lot but we don’t always notice when we’re sweating. We don’t even notice the smell until it’s awful and all around us.

We hold our emotions in the same way and we let them out subconsciously. If the waiter shows up late or makes the wrong remark, that emotion you’re harboring could come out. Even if it doesn’t come out completely, everyone around you can sense that emotion.

When you cling to your sadness or loneliness, you bring others down. You sweat out gloom and cancel the happiness around you. This time it is thicker and drains you out, rather than anger which motivates you.

The reason to let go of your emotions is obvious: it taints your life and the lives of those around you.

The next time somebody is angry or upset around you, notice what it feels like. Feel the emotion that they bring and how it effects the environment. Don’t try to change it, just notice it. Then when you’re angry, maybe you will notice it. Once you realize that you’re holding onto an emotion, let it go.

It doesn’t matter how you justify the emotion, you just need to let it go. Clinging to happiness even will taint it. Your emotions have to be free flowing like a faucet. You don’t want it to get clogged or for the water to change colors.

The emotions that you’re harboring, guilt, blame, or whatever else, need to go. It’s your job as a human being to feel what it is like to be alive. If you feel angry, then acknowledge it and feel what it feels like to have that anger. Do not try to hold onto it or to push it away. Just notice it and it will eventually pass.

If you notice these emotions, realize that you don’t have to express them. That sadness doesn’t have to be brought to the group. The anger you have from work doesn’t need to be pushed into your family time. Acknowledge them and move on to the next emotion.

Yesterday a guy I was with got a phone call that angered him. He wasn’t angry at the group I was with or me but everyone could tell he was angry. When we walked close to us, nobody talked. Everyone was silent and waiting for him to blow up. It didn’t matter what happened, he brought anger to us. He wasn’t angry at us but yet we still felt his pent up anger.

I don’t blame him or say that he’s wrong but I want to point out what holding an emotion is like. You can feel it around you. The angry person doesn’t make you angry but it becomes more acceptable to be angry. If a man blames the weather for ruining his day, then maybe you’ll join in and start blaming other things as well.

You don’t need that. You are so much more than just one emotion. Feel it and do whatever you need to do but let it go in the end. For your sake and for everybody else’s.

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