#tgif

Well, I work over the weekend but, meh, closer to next weekend I guess.

This week has been a little rough, my shower broke (and still doesn’t function), I’ve worked late for the last three days, yada yada. Work has been a source of stress and I’ve been coming home mentally exhausted. Which feels weird for me. Usually I love the people I work with but I’ve been stressed.

When I got off, I called back to the mainland and talked with a friend for the last couple hours. Just getting stuff off my chest felt better. TGIF is a spirit and it’s nice to feel the rush of people around you excited for the weekend. Talking on the phone helped get that feeling back.

I don’t know where I’m going with this… just, keep your head up and enjoy your Halloween weekend. Hope you had a wonderful Friday! Eat a lot of sugar for me!

BLOGtober day thirty!

The Importance of “Happy” and paying attention

One of the coolest projects I’ve seen in awhile is Joel Robison’s “Feel Good Friday” webseries. Once a week he shares “ways to feel better about ourselves and the world around us”. These videos are light-hearted and beautiful. They range from “Tips for Feeling Better” to simply affirming that “You can do it!“.

There’s one where he discusses the importance of having a happy place. Not just somewhere you can wander off to in your head but a physical location that you can go to. He says “[happy places] help us clear our minds, they give us positive energy, and they give us a place to go that’s really just essentially a place to feel happier”.

I wanted to contribute by saying that paying attention to what makes you happy is important. Physical happy places give you an anchor if you’re feeling blue. You can visit them and take time to relax. They offer a way to unwind and find your inner happiness.

The Dalai Lama stressed the importance of cultivating that which causes happiness and to refrain from that which causes suffering. This advice seems apparent but most of us don’t live that way. We stay in our stressful patterns and, through ignorance, continue the cycle of our unhappiness.

Becoming aware of physical places that help you “clear your mind” and “give positive energy” is important. It’s one step towards becoming more conscious of ways to improve your life. Paying attention to the way you respond to other things are beneficial.

For example, I’m guilty of listening to really sad music. In fact, if you look at my library, you’ll find that my ‘most played’ songs are about horrible breakups and unrequited love (…and look at my love life…). When I open Spotify, these are the songs I immediately go for. Not because they’re sad but because, for some reason, they’re the ones that I life.

Now, if I pay attention to how this music impacts me, I can see that I probably should listen to it. I’ll go from a neutral mood to an unhappy one. My mind becomes chaotic and caught up in previous relationships and memories. This isn’t the case for everyone but the point is, I can see how the music impacts me. I have the opportunity to change that behavior. It takes a lot of consciousness but I can remove one element that brings suffering to my life.

On the opposite note, there are excellent bands which make me joyous and dance around my room. I love listening to them and I walk away from the experience feeling elated. Why don’t I always choose to listen to that music? It’s a “happy place” for me. Instead, I wallow to the sad music.

This is the opportunity to grow! You can learn to pay attention and notice what causes suffering and happiness in your life. Find places that you can go to relax and let loose. Those places are important. Realize that there are many things in life that will help lift you up, you just have to be conscious enough to know what they are.

I can’t give an answer on what your happy is. That’s something you have to find yourself. Really feel and take it in. Find ways to lift yourself up and pay attention to that which brings you down. You know where to go from there! 🙂 Hope you all have a wonderful Friday!

BLOGtober day twenty nine!

Meditation Update

This blog has become more of a place to write notes and thoughts, rather than organized posts. Most days I’m happy to write and put a few words down but there are times when I don’t want to do it. Last night I had a rough day and today wasn’t a lot better. Still, it’s important to take notes and observes what I’m thinking about. I apologize if you came here expecting grandeur or something different.

Last week I wrote about meditation, and I’ve made many posts about it in the past. To be honest, I haven’t meditated since then. I had a profound experience where I felt very aware of my environment. On an average day, maybe I’m 30% mindful. Well, after that meditation I felt like I was 75% aware. It felt… different. I paid attention to the water as I showered, I could hear the cars buzzing by outside, I really tasted food as I ate it.

When the experience dulled down and my mind turned back up, I felt anxiety. I wanted excitement. I had unrealistic expectations for the meditation and being mindful. I thought it would be delightful and exhilarating. I figured I’d be able to feel each moment with a rush.

Well, that excitement came and passed. I’d experience something fun and it was great. Then when it passed, I let go. But I still felt sad. I left the “mindful” experience feeling distraught. I thought that meditation could save me. If I did it enough or the “right” way, then I could become like those monks who beam with happiness and delight.

It was a learning experience. I have many unrealistic expectations that I must confront and let go of. Meditation does not make the situation more than it is. You won’t feel more happy or sad… you just pay more attention to what you feel. If you feel happy, then you’ll notice that feeling. When it’s gone, you’ll let go.

Meditation since has become difficult because I can’t find a purpose. I know that I need to sit but for what reason? Just because…? I’m afraid that if I let it all in, really experience life wholly, that it won’t feel like enough. I’m scared that I’ll be let down – but that’s the point. Life isn’t entire joy or sadness. It’s a mix of everything. I should really take it in. Even without purpose. I just can’t think of anything I’ve done for no reason or just because. There’s always a reason or a motivation, I just can’t seem to find this one.

Links in Social Media icons

Over the last few days I’ve tried to find what intrigues me about the people I follow on social media. This includes people I actively follow on SnapChat, YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and Tumblr. It’s really hard to break down what it is I enjoy about their work.

RussMarine2014, Maximilian Uriarte (Terminal Lance), and Kyle Gott are all military.

Kyle Krieger, RussMarine2014, and Randy Phillips are all gay.

Taylor Burk, Callum Snape, and Joel Robison are all photographers.

Almost all of them have YouTube channels. Most of them share regularly (with the exception of Russ and Randy). But their work is distinctly different. They talk about completely different subjects and most of them don’t know about each other. Yet I love all of them.

After a lot of thinking, I’ve determined that I love their life attitude. Each one is humorous in different way. They wear huge smiles on their faces and have a positive outlook. I admire their ability to look at difficult decisions with humor and ease.

I’ll definitely write more about these people in the future, these are just notes I’ve been thinking about lately. What are some of your favorite social media icons?

BLOGtober day twenty seven.

Going for Gold

As the final days of BLOGtober approach, I can’t help but wonder ‘what have I accomplished?’. The month is nearly gone and nothing has really come about. I was hoping that starting this project would spark a desire to blog daily again. Now I’ve lost that hope.

Especially these last few days where redesigning has been fruitless. Hours have been spent changing something I won’t be using in the future. The subdomains are nice but I have too much work associated to move away from this page. I need more time to make such a dramatic change and my work condition doesn’t allow for it.

I don’t know. This last week has been really hard and I don’t have a lot to say. I wish I could come up with a profound speech each day or something nice but it’s not possible. Some days just suck.

Hopefully this week will get better. BLOGtober day twenty six.

 

Cleaning Up

Well, everything on these sites and subdomains has officially become a mess. The final product that I’m working on building will take a lot of time and I still haven’t decided if it’s what I want to do. Putting subdomains out there will make it more difficult to archive my posts in the future. That’s something I’m a little terrified about. If I create something, I don’t want it to disappear. Why put effort in a product that could be deleted tomorrow?

Anyways, I don’t mean to complain again. It’s what I spent a lot of time today doing and I feel no closer to where I want to be. It’s a learning process and I know it will take time. If somehow you’re reading this, you’ve managed to get past my static front page. Congrats. Or I’ve disabled it. Don’t know if it’s going to stay or go in the next few days.

In other news, I hope you have had a wonderful weekend. The weather here was beautiful and I was glad to get out and enjoy it. It’s going to be unusual getting used to summer year ’round. I don’t know if I like it yet. Lush greens in late October feels a little wrong. We’ll see I guess.

BLOGtober day twenty five!

Changes are coming

Almost all of today was spent working on this website in various ways. You wouldn’t be able to tell by looking at it though. I spent stupid amounts of time trying or organize and classify posts that I’d already made. Now I’ve decided that instead of creating new domains, I’ll subdomain this one out to fill whatever purpose I need. Eventually this page will be moved to blog.eric-albee.com. I think it fits much better and I’ll be able to have my portfolio on another subdomain. In another one I’ll have my other projects. It’s not a perfect system but it’ll give me the opportunity to create sites in a more dynamic way.

Each subdomain acts as its own site. Meaning it can have its own layout and set of rules. It looks somewhat professional and it’s a great way to organize. You’ll have to forgive me though, I’ve used every ounce of brainpower on trying to get this stuff to work. I made a mistake and it cost me $75. *shakes fist in air. Sometimes teaching yourself how to do things accidently costs money. Anyways, I’m going to hit the hay. I can barely think straight. -.-

BLOGtober day twenty four!