I’m too many contrasting elements. Scattered, unique, sane, together, conformed, and crazy. It seems paradoxical to contain opposites. So I try to form something linear. I write about my life, then next I write about another person’s life. Next I’m talking about art, then travel. Nothing about it is linear.

As an artist, I value authenticity in my work. Yet, I also value organization. Those are conflicting ideals for me. I am not organized and trying to only share part of myself feels unauthentic. Writing only a travel blog feels limiting. Strictly sharing art feels limiting.

These are all parts of me and it’s impossible to arrange them in a beautiful way. Some days I’m chaotic, while others I’m calm. This weekend, I’m lacking words. It’s not that I don’t feel or am doing nothing, it’s just that words aren’t at the forefront of my mind.

So, I want to conclude day nine of BLOGtober by saying that I’m sorry. I need to spend some time sitting down and trying to figure out what I want to do. It’s hard to contain so many opposites and to share them openly. Tonight is just one of thosenights.

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