After reading some of Osho’s work I feel like I’ve become more comfortable with being single and alone. Osho writes about how our relationships with other people teach us that all relationships are flawed. When we come to this realization we reach a critical point where we learn independence and love. We realize the facade that we put onto love and break free from it. We think that love is so much different than it actually is.
In truth, love is an expression of happiness and joy. We wrap our ideas around love and think that it’s something to be contained or controlled. Love cannot be put into only one place. That is a form of an ego because we want something in return. We want to love a person and get their feelings back. Real love is a joy of life and fills all areas of one’s existence. When we’re in love, we spread it into everything. We can’t give it to only one person, we show it to everyone – it’s too much for a person to contain.
People confuse the concepts of love and intimacy. Love is a passion for life and a joy that one gives to the world. Intimacy is the physical closeness between two people. When we are in love, we can share our love in intimacy but it doesn’t require it. Our love is already there and bubbling over. You can love without being intimate. Love is a joy and passion for life, not something that can be directed at only one thing.
I’ve come to grips with being single because I’ve realized that the things that I want from somebody else aren’t things that they can give. I don’t want somebody to be close to, I just want that joy and love of life. When I’m passionate and living life fully, that hole in me disappears. I’ve realized that what I’m looking for is something that I have to find myself.
We confuse all of this in our heads and think that the only way to love is through another person. That’s silly. Love is so much more than being passionate about another person. It’s so much more than physical or emotional closeness. When I’m feeling alone and wanting to be in a relationship, I’m seeking fulfillment. I want somebody to myself and to be exclusively with them. I want to contain that joy and put it all in one place but it’s not a place that I can put joy into. Joy and love aren’t something to be controlled.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that for the first time in a long time, I’m fine being single. I don’t want or not want a relationship. I’m finding joy in my own life and pursuing the things that I’m passionate about. I no longer need to find that through someone else. It’s kind of weird and liberating at the same time.
Also, not all of this is Osho’s concept but I wanted to bring up that I was reading through some of his books. I’m amazed at his work and the more that I read, the more I feel connected with people. I find a different kind of joy reading through his works. Many of his books are free online at OshoWorld.com . Check them out!