Last October, before I started blogging daily, I wrote an article about a beautiful dream I’d had. I felt lonely and lost but in this dream I was laying in a giant bed with all the animals who had ever lived with me. Their presence comforted me and the loneliness I’d felt vanished for days after I woke back up. It was as though I never felt isolated.
Painting isn’t my specialty but I felt so compelled to create this image. I wanted to keep that feeling for as long as I could. If you click on the image, it will link you back to that post on EveryoneWanders.
Though it may seem silly or strange, that feel engulfed me.
To give a bit of a background, this was the first time I was living on my own. Last year in May I was so busy that I couldn’t breath until almost October. I can’t remember a time that I was so stressed and unable to feel. When I finally felt something, it was usually loneliness or depression. This feeling was a resolution to suffering I dealt with for those 4/5 months.
When I originally painted this image, I’d stayed up until 5 in the morning painting. Inexperience drags out the creation process but I was inspired. I don’t think I even looked at the lock until I was done. There was so much focus on the emotion it created within me that I forgot everything else.
Since my last friend left here, I’ve had a similar feeling come back. Instead of feeling all of my animals laying lazily on a bed with me, I’ve felt like all of my friends are walking with me. I feel comforted by this feeling. It’s like everyone is a part of me and I carry that with me wherever I go.
Whenever I feel lonely, I remember this feeling. I think about all of my animals laying beside me or walking down the street with every person I’ve met. I feel the moments where we’ve connected and been together. Suddenly that depression evaporates and I feel connected with the world.
Our anxieties are so much less that we see them in our head. Our loneliness or depression are amplified there and we cannot feel their limits. It’s important to not be afraid of the depths of your feelings. You don’t always know how much of a feeling you can feel. This is where your creativity will stem from: reaching into those depths and pulling them out to show people. Even beautiful things can come out of dark places.