Holding it in

It’s taken many years and countless purposeless arguments to realize how important forgiveness is. We hold onto so much in this world and our emotions are no exception. I’m guilty of clinging to emotions: I’ve held onto my own sadness for weeks and I’ve went to bed angry.

When we hold onto our emotions, we bring them everywhere with us. If you hold onto anger, you’ll lash out or bring that negativity to everyone around you. For example, if you just lost your business a lot of money, you may be angry/upset. Then when you go out to eat with your family, you may almost sweat your emotion.

When we sweat, we don’t always notice it. The smell can become apparent to others and you could taint an entire room. It’s obvious to us when we’re sweating a lot but we don’t always notice when we’re sweating. We don’t even notice the smell until it’s awful and all around us.

We hold our emotions in the same way and we let them out subconsciously. If the waiter shows up late or makes the wrong remark, that emotion you’re harboring could come out. Even if it doesn’t come out completely, everyone around you can sense that emotion.

When you cling to your sadness or loneliness, you bring others down. You sweat out gloom and cancel the happiness around you. This time it is thicker and drains you out, rather than anger which motivates you.

The reason to let go of your emotions is obvious: it taints your life and the lives of those around you.

The next time somebody is angry or upset around you, notice what it feels like. Feel the emotion that they bring and how it effects the environment. Don’t try to change it, just notice it. Then when you’re angry, maybe you will notice it. Once you realize that you’re holding onto an emotion, let it go.

It doesn’t matter how you justify the emotion, you just need to let it go. Clinging to happiness even will taint it. Your emotions have to be free flowing like a faucet. You don’t want it to get clogged or for the water to change colors.

The emotions that you’re harboring, guilt, blame, or whatever else, need to go. It’s your job as a human being to feel what it is like to be alive. If you feel angry, then acknowledge it and feel what it feels like to have that anger. Do not try to hold onto it or to push it away. Just notice it and it will eventually pass.

If you notice these emotions, realize that you don’t have to express them. That sadness doesn’t have to be brought to the group. The anger you have from work doesn’t need to be pushed into your family time. Acknowledge them and move on to the next emotion.

Yesterday a guy I was with got a phone call that angered him. He wasn’t angry at the group I was with or me but everyone could tell he was angry. When we walked close to us, nobody talked. Everyone was silent and waiting for him to blow up. It didn’t matter what happened, he brought anger to us. He wasn’t angry at us but yet we still felt his pent up anger.

I don’t blame him or say that he’s wrong but I want to point out what holding an emotion is like. You can feel it around you. The angry person doesn’t make you angry but it becomes more acceptable to be angry. If a man blames the weather for ruining his day, then maybe you’ll join in and start blaming other things as well.

You don’t need that. You are so much more than just one emotion. Feel it and do whatever you need to do but let it go in the end. For your sake and for everybody else’s.


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