Flow between Happiness and Sadness

For the last week I’ve been unable to contain my happiness. I feel like a glass just bubbling over with the stuff. The funny thing is that there isn’t one particular thing in my life that’s making me happy. I just feel content with everything and the happiness has followed. The best thing about this feeling is that when I encounter adversity or something that usually would make me sad, I feel like I overcome it easily.

Take this weekend for example: I’m going to be working two 12-hour shifts that eat up my weekend. Two weeks ago I was dreading this weekend but as I’ve become more content it’s worn away. Usually when you dread an event you ruminate in it and it gets progressively worse until you get passed it. The opposite seems to be happening right now: the closer I get to it, the less I worry about it.

It’s been written about before on this blog but I wanted to write about it again. I used to think  unhappiness was the degree to which we were aware of a lack of happiness. I thought it was when a person questioned their own happiness and realized that they weren’t as happy as they could be. I no longer believe this.

I think happiness is the degree to which we are living our lives. When we feel alive we also tend to feel happy. When I notice what it’s like to feel my feet press against the ground, I feel alive. When I’m walking and I can feel the sun or the cold, I feel alive. These moments themselves don’t bring me happiness but the accumulation of them brings contentment. Feeling at peace with everything creates a sort of calm undertone in my life which is a root for my happiness.

This root grows into a tree when I start sharing it with other people. I start smiling and my smiling makes other people smile which makes me smile even more.

Osho’s dynamic meditation is definitely weird – singing, jumping, and all sorts of other crazy things. However, I’ve learned something from it. The second part of the meditation is where you let your body express itself freely. For ten minutes if you need to kick, scream, flail, or anything, you do it. When I do this part of the meditation my body goes back and forth between laughing and crying. I feel compelled to laugh and smile like life is flowering through me. Then I’ll feel the need to shrink down and sob.

It sounds a little crazy at first but I don’t see happiness and sadness as far away from each other anymore. Maybe my happiness stems from an appreciation of what I have – whether that be good or bad. I undoubtedly will feel depressed again and this feeling will fade but I wanted to write about the importance of awareness. Having that base of contentment builds the foundation for happiness in myself.

It doesn’t matter what I’m doing as long as I feel alive. When I feel alive I can’t help but feel happy. Life is something worth experiencing and I hope that you find happiness as well! Nameste!

181/365

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