Packing clothes away and getting ready for the next big move out to Charleston has been difficult. The closer my leave gets to finishing, the more nostalgia sets in. So much of my life has changed and coming home has shown me how I had built my life up to this point.
Online I’ve maintained presence with the photography community, and I still obviously work on my blog. Photography has been so much to me; it’s been a way of expression, a way of building community, a skill to grow.
I’ve been able to see the things that I’ve worked on from a more detached perspective. Walking back into my room and seeing inspiring quotes on post-it-notes brought a smile to my face. It really felt like home. It’s like I could suddenly connect who I was with who I am now.
Over my break I’ve also had the opportunity to get together with many of my friends and family that I’ve been missing. Just seeing their faces has brightened mine. But at the same time I feel anxious about all of them. Where is my life heading? Where are their lives heading?
And after stepping out for nine months I’ve gained an appreciation for things that I hadn’t before. I understand that goodbye now will be a much longer goodbye in some cases. My cat has grown old, my dog, and some of my family. There’s a lot of uncertainty and unknown in front of me but I face it with the certainty that I will experience more. And with no regret of the past, I’ve lived as fully as possible, and I have no tension over the past.
So as I get anxiety over the next week, the next month, the next year, perhaps I will be able to look back at this instant in my life and remember that everything works out. Life will always carry on – and the moment we stop facing it is the moment that we stop living.
Be valiant, and enjoy the life in front of you. You don’t know when your last moments will be. So die now to what is in behind and beyond you – live your life right now.
P.S. Woah. Day 100 is going to be my first day in Charleston! That’s crazy on time!