After wandering aimlessly for the past year, I feel like I’ve finally found a path I want to follow. Sylvia Plath once wrote;
“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”
In my own life, I’ve struggled with decision and picking just one thing. To me, it’s always been more valuable to take a bite of many fruits than to eat a whole bowl of the same thing. Why do one thing when you could do many?
Now, after talking with a good friend on Skype for the past few hours, I’ve realized that I want to pick something and expand on it. I feel the need to focus my energies and really produce something – get known for being able to do something.
Photography was a huge part of my life last year and has been for the past 9 years. It was a wonderful form of expression and I’ve always loved it. Now I want to get back into it and specify myself to create a style. I want something that shows consistency.
I’ll have to meditate on this further but I really want to start focusing onto a subject. So much of my time is consumed in indecision.