Emotions are the body’s physical interpretation or reaction to our thoughts. When we think, emotion is created from that and expressed in the body. We can think about the sound of claws on a chalkboard and physically feel the pain from it. In a lesser example, if we think about our family, we could feel love inside. That emotion is the bodily reaction to your thoughts.
That being said, today I got sick. My sinuses inflamed and my throat became course with mucus. I got a headache and couldn’t think straight. It was as if everything had been set off inside of me. Some part of me thinks this is my body’s way of becoming stressed about leaving. I’ve somewhat made peace with it in my mind but my body seems to be very upset.
This afternoon, when my roommate finally left for five minutes, I got to do a short meditation and it really helped. My mind called with mu and I got some good breathing going. Afterwards my headache vanished and it was if I could breath again. Perhaps it is my mind that is subconsciously upset.
A couple months ago (around Christmas I believe) I wrote about 5-HTP as a wonder drug. Basically it’s a vitamin that you can take that increases the serotonin in your systems. If you didn’t know, serotonin is the brain chemical responsible for making you feel calm and as if everything is alright. 5-HTP thus works as an antidepressant.
For me, 5-HTP works incredibly well! I take it and within 45 minutes I suddenly feel really happy and calm. I feel at peace with everything that is going on around me. I actually had to get off of it because eventually when I wasn’t taking it, I felt really depressed. It made the highs incredibly higher and the lows incredibly lower. When I wasn’t taking 5-HTP, I felt horrible. That’s why I got off of it two months ago.
Since I get a lot of anxiety about moving and change, I went back onto 5-HTP at 100mg once or twice a day, which was less than my previous dosage. It was in effort to keep myself from getting in the pits right before I left and to enjoy what time I had left here.
When I got sick today I started to wonder if maybe my mind isn’t okay with what’s going on around me and if the extra serotonin is creating a false sense of well being. After thinking about it, I’ve realized that mentally I’m a mess right now.
I’ve got anxieties about what I have left to do before I go. Getting home and getting anxiety about having to leave again. Seeing everyone. Moving to a brand new place to spend the next 3 years of my life. I’ve got a lot of anxieties to deal with and although 5-HTP has temporarily helped me, I also think that it is hindering me solving these problems. When I deal with the stress, I find ways to cope and coexist with it. When I’m on 5-HTP, it’s like the anxiety is still there but I don’t feel it. It’s like I’m mentally blocked from it.
Resolution: get off the the 5-HTP and work through the problems. Meditation has been one of the key ways to eliminate stress from my life in the last year. I should be doing a lot more of it! 5-HTP is a fantastic upper, it works like a miracle for me, but I need to solve these problems rather than just be happy or content with them.
It’s just a bizarre situation to explain but maybe it will help you. I’m not a doctor, so I cannot proscribe or recommend any medicines. This is, of course, all based on personal experience. If you’ve ever tried 5-HTP (hydroxy-tryptophan), leave a comment below telling me about it! Have you had mental blocks? Did it work for you? Have you tried other ‘antidepressant’ vitamins like SAM-E? Let me know!