Some follow-up Advice

Yesterday I wrote about kissing a questioning guy and unfortunately my head was preoccupied with it most of today. I struggle in my own life with wanting to give advice to people who don’t want advice – instead of speaking in person I’ve decided to just write it down here and express it. Maybe this will clear my head.


To start, I want you to acknowledge that I don’t care if you’re gay, straight, bisexual, whatever. This is just me expressing advice I can give from struggling with my own sexual and gender identity.

1. You don’t have to have yourself all figured out. It’s okay to have things remained undefined and it’s fine to not know. You don’t have to be on a quest to define who you are for the world. Just be yourself and do what comes naturally.

2. There’s no rush and no need to worry about it. Everything falls into place eventually and only you can decide what you want to do. Don’t let pressure or society push you around. You can be gay, you could be straight, it doesn’t matter. You don’t even have to label it. You are whatever you are and that’s perfectly fine.

3. Everyone needs to stop caring what everyone else thinks. It doesn’t matter what they think; the only thing that matters is what you think. That being said, the voice in your head that’s constantly telling you that you’re right or wrong needs to be silenced. Most people struggle with the criticism that other people give but everyone struggles with their own self-criticism.

4. I don’t know your life story but I know that you’re just trying to figure stuff out for yourself. Whatever you come up with is your solution – there’s nothing wrong about it. Who is anyone to say that you are wrong? You are just who you are.

I can’t help but feel like I’ve done something wrong but that’s on my end in my head. Whatever it is you come up with, I hope you find happiness and resolution. It’s frustrating not being able to talk and express this in person but I can’t speak to someone who doesn’t want to be spoken to.

Remember that you can make everything up as you go along. Life is a journey and it’s not about the destination – it’s about where you are right now in this moment. Find that peace and happiness will surely follow.


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