It’s important for everyone to disconnect from their lives every once and while. To take a step back and to look and themselves from a macro perspective. We often get bogged down in the roles that are placed upon us and forget our individual purposes. We take on the roles that people place on us instead.
If you’re a mother, you don’t have to stay at home. If you’re a man, you don’t have to be masculine and live at the gym. If you’re gay, you don’t have to be feminine or masculine. If you’re young, you don’t have to be reckless.
These are all expectations that are placed upon you by society. You can be whatever you want to, or you could be these things naturally. But take some time to determine why you take these actions. Am I doing this because it’s what other mothers do?
One of my friends struggled with this because she determined that she wanted to give birth at her home. Everyone told her that it was a bad idea but she decided against them. Part of her purpose was to deliver at home, and that is great for her. She took a step back and determined something that didn’t necessarily fit within her societal role.
As a gay man, after I came out I had a lot of expectations placed on me. Most of them were placed by me onto myself. I thought that I had to be feminine, or love shopping, or love things that other gay people did. It wasn’t until years later that I took a step back and realized that I was just playing society’s role for gay people.
Everyone’s purpose is different. Everyone fulfills different roles in society. Everyone falls into different expectations of these groups and forgets themselves to some degree. We fall into these patterns and take on the roles as if they are us but they are not us. We are not our roles.
I am gay but I don’t fulfill the expectations of a gay person. I’m young but I don’t fulfill society’s idea that all young people are reckless. You don’t have to take on these expectations. Don’t think you have to be anything. Disconnect from your role and leave it as intangible as you can.
Rather than calling yourself the breadwinner, just bring home the most money. The label is useless. If you’re into geeky things, you don’t have to label yourself as a geek. With labels come stereotypes.You can be a buff geek. You don’t need to label yourself and you don’t need to accept other people’s labels. Lose your expectations and just let things be as they are. Disconnect every once in a while. Realize that you are not what other people call you.