Life can be so interesting sometimes. Today I was walking back to my dormitory late at night and I was suddenly reminded of the rush I had walking through German a little over a year ago. It was beautiful but it was tragic at the same time because the memory was fleeting.
It was frustrating because I spend so much of my time trying to live in the moment and be present. But sometimes these moments flash right before me and I can’t help but “relive” through them. I feel as though remembering them does nothing but bring a comparison between my current situation and the (usually) more positive memories. It’s as though sometimes my life breaks in front of me and I’m suddenly filled with sorrow of where I am now.
The frustrating thing is that I’m trying to let the memories go. I don’t want to think about the past, I just want to be present. But I don’t want to let go of my past. There is much resistance in myself. Some days I feel I have a long way to go until enlightenment and today is just one of those days.